Bonds get even

     
                       
 
 
  
  
 

   A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.  He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."

"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"

I LOVE THIS ONE............
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"

FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!

   
      

                        

Goldilocks - all mums must read

Far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.
'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.
'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....

'I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET

STUFF 2 share with you for FREE :)

Hey there I had it suggested that I should share some of the random information that I have
It astounds me that not everyone knows what I know
1) A must have to every kitchen in New Zealand is the Edmonds Cook Book
2) What is Rhubarb & how to cook it ( not the leaves they are poisonous)
3) The best glass cleaner (mix 50% vinegar 50% water) put in small spray bottle - wa la
4) Cheap week killer - boil the jug - pour over weeds - or mix 50% vinegar & 50% water - two tsp salt - put in small spray bottle (spray weeds)
5) To remove stains from old toilet pans put a sterident tablet in it - every day (scrub) repeat until stains reduce.
6) CRC, WD40, to remove makeup or lipstick stains from clothes, spray- rub gently then wash - it is magic.